shenunigans | [Voice mail / Private contact]

What. [His voice is flat. He hadn't actually expected Eridan to go to Terezi...] When I get my hands on that guy I am opening a god damn sushi buffet.

I dunno how the subject came up. But it did. I didn't think he'd pry like that. [There's a short pause.] Or that it mattered, I guess.

And I'm sure we'll all celebrate.

You want to tell me why he decided to come asking the questions he knows I'd never tell him the answers to?

That sounds a hell of a lot like something he'd know better than I do. Alls I knows is that I didn't think he would.

Well you must have said something to him to make him think it was a good idea.

I told him if he wanted to pry he could ask you because I was done with his shit. Did it piss you off that much?

Let me think, did being asked personal shit by one of the last people I'd want to talk about that shit with piss me off? How about how is that even a question?

Better question is, why did you tell him to ask me?

It's not like you told him anything anyway, is it? All you had to do was shut him down. Which I thought I did, but apparently it didn't work.

Because you know more about what's going on than I do, apparently.

It's still a conversation my life would be a whole lot better without me having.

Anyway, much as it pains me to admit it, unless he's stirring shit to be an ass - which I don't put past him - he did have a point.

Which is where I prove your last statement wrong and ask if there is anything I should know. Don't remember if we ever did the Where on the Timeline Tango but it sounds like we might need to go over it again.

Feelings mutual.

He is stirring shit because he's weirdly attached to knowing what the hell is going on. Mmh, I guess he does. Don't really think he's all that good at starting shit unless it works for him somehow.

We didn't. What's the last thing you remember?

Or unless he thinks it might. Success isn't a requirement.

[See: Meteorgate]

Last I remember was talking to Aranea. We were about to meet up with the other Peixes when the Thor decided it missed the pleasure of my company and dragged me back.

I think he's just being a busy body. Not like there's much else to do here anyway. [Grunt.] Still gonna make him into fish cakes next time I see him.

[He pauses for a pretty long time, wondering how he's even going to explain this.]

Right. So you're waaaaay back before they brought in the cast of Trolls of Our Lives and everything went crazy town.

You mean the other lot like Aranea? Yeah, I heard about them. Not much, but pretty much what she is to Serket we all have one.

Yeah. There was a whole matching set. I didn't think you guys could get crazier, but you do. You really do.

Okay. Does this have anything to do with why Ampora was bugging me about what I think of you?

I guess you could say we got closer on the meteor. Enough to make Vantas jealous, anyway.

[Well crap]

Okay. I remember we hung out a lot. How much closer are we talking, and I want specific answers here.

I dunno. It never really got specific. [Evasive answers are go.]

Well doesn't that figure. It's like there's something in the Knight genetic code that makes specific answers some unachievable aim.

Well, duh. Everyone back then spoke in riddles then. Besides, I can't figure out why it matters. Why does it matter?

[Well, if he's going to dodge straight answers, she'll have to provide enough for both of them]

Because as of last month Karkat and I agreed to be matesprits and I need to know if that's going to be an issue.

It's not an issue.
[Because the curt answer really makes that seem likely.]

Congrats.

[Even less likely to the girl who can smell lies]

You know I know when you're lying, Dave.

I'm not lying. You want to date Vantas, I'm not gonna stop you. There isn't any reason for me to have an issue with it.

Then why do you?

Because you were my whozit first.

[The most frustrated of sighs.]

Look, when I say I don't have an issue with it- I really don't. Of all the stupid things I could take issue with, it is not this thing. I'm fine. It's just weird as hell and confusing to be a step ahead of everyone else, but I should be used to that already. It'll be fine. You guys do your thing and I'll get over it in like a day. If that.

I like you and I...'m okay with Vantas. As okay as you get with that guy, anyway. It's probably better if we keep the humans out of the relationship bingo anyway.