[Voice mail / Private contact]

[shenunigans]

"Seinfeld In HD - George Costanza Answering Machine" (Watch on YouTube)

Comments

GARGLEBLASTED / MOSTLY HARMLESS

[shenunigans]

voice

[thoughtandflow]

Strider. We need to talk.

voice

[shenunigans]

[Oh God, he knew this was coming.]

Do we? [Sarcasm is not gonna make this go any quicker.]

Okay. Shoot.

voice

[thoughtandflow]

When I get Ampora bugging me about quadrant shit? Yeah, we do. Not that I'm sure why you were even talking to him about it in the first place, by the way.

voice

[shenunigans]

What. [His voice is flat. He hadn't actually expected Eridan to go to Terezi...] When I get my hands on that guy I am opening a god damn sushi buffet.

I dunno how the subject came up. But it did. I didn't think he'd pry like that. [There's a short pause.] Or that it mattered, I guess.

voice

[thoughtandflow]

And I'm sure we'll all celebrate.

You want to tell me why he decided to come asking the questions he knows I'd never tell him the answers to?

voice

[shenunigans]

That sounds a hell of a lot like something he'd know better than I do. Alls I knows is that I didn't think he would.

voice

[thoughtandflow]

Well you must have said something to him to make him think it was a good idea.

voice

[shenunigans]

I told him if he wanted to pry he could ask you because I was done with his shit. Did it piss you off that much?

[unconchonable]

ok i wwouldnt normally come to you like this but i got a bit of a uh
predicament
and im not sure wwho else to contact about it
kar seems to be missin and all his beasts havve somehoww found me
ONES A FUCKIN PLANT i dont evven knoww wwhat to do wwith this fuckin tiger
look if you can help me wwith these beasts ill owwn you bigger than shit ok

[shenunigans]

woah nelly
so vantas is gone
like for good
christ were dropping like fucking flies here

and what the hell do you expect me to do here
the hell am i steve irwin
im not even sound in the moral support area
you must be desperate

[unconchonable]

yeah the stupid assblood didnt evven havve the decency to say good bye

i dont knoww wwho stevve irwwin is but if he can help in this situation i suggest you start learnin a thing or twwo about bein him BECAUSE I HAVVE NO IDEA WWHAT IM DOIN
i aint desperate i just need some help

[shenunigans]

its not like anyone before him did anything but dump a whole lot of useless crap on us
guess hes just following suit

steve irwin is a cool guy
he fights crocodiles and doesnt afraid of anything
i figured capslocking was a thing you did when you were desperate
desperate for help
pretty sure you contacted the worst man for the job fishpora

[unconchonable]

evven if its just the normal sorta deal i dont fuckin appreciate it any

then be like him and put this tiger in its fuckin place
it keeps tryin to eat my cape
and not alwways sometimes its for emphasis
i dont care if youre the wworst or the fuckin best just get your pink husk here and help me

[shenunigans]

because underneath all your bitching and whining youre a sensitive soul who loves too much
got it
commiting it to memory

what the fuck am i meant to do with a tiger ampora
your ass is grass if you think im going to be any help

augh
whatever
im coming so i can fucking laugh at you
brb

[And in a few minutes, Eridan will hear a knock at the door.]

[unconchonable]

[Eridan thinks about responding, but fuck it, he can just say what he wants once Dave is here. Of course, him waiting is no easy thing, and probably is the singular reason why he's so worked up by the time Dave gets there. Sure, there's a tiger and other shit around, bit come on, he was so being dramatic over that, and now he's just riled, because goddamnit Dave!]

[When the knock sounds, he yanks the door open, offering Dave a scathing look.]

You better not fuckin' laugh at this situation I'm in, or I'll feed you to the tiger an' write that off as your "helpin'" me!

[With that said, he motions Dave inside.]

Now come on, you need to help me tame these fuckin' beasts... Sure, maybe the tiger is a bit much for anyone to know what to do right off the bat but... I dunno, you got any experience with squeakbeasts?

[shenunigans]

Is that really the look you're going to give the guy who came running to your assistance? Christ. They need a fucking manners school for you nasty ass bitches. [He pushes past Eridan without much care for his gesturing.]

Nope. I never had a pet. I had puppets. Pretty sure I was more like Bro's pet than anything, to be perfectly honest. [He taps his finger on his chin.] I remember that I liked being fed. Maybe we should do that.

[fintastic]

Aw Dave. 38)
It was very nice of you to make some slam poetry to back me up!
Your friend is kind of a butthead!

[shenunigans]

first off its rap
not slam poetry
there arent nearly enough bongos for it to be poetry
secondly hes my brother not my friend
my brother in a universe where im old and famous and one of you guys is trying to get up in earths grill
or did
im not sure

thirdly
youre welcome i guess

[fintastic]

O)( yea)(...
T)(at was probably my ancestor, )(u)(?
I'm nofin like )(er t)(oug)(, I would never do anyt)(ing bad to -Eart)(!

[shenunigans]

yeah but like
he doesnt know that does he

[fintastic]

I don't t)(ink so.
S)(ould I go talk to )(im?

[shenunigans]

couldnt hurt
i dont really know him though

[fintastic]

Maybe you s)(ould get to know )(im too t)(en!

[shenunigans]

nah
im good